On the first day my true love gave me the NFT of a flower. That should have been a clue.
On the second day my husband emptied our crypto exchange account and moved to his girlfriend's Airbnb.
On the third day my ex-husband auctioned NFTs of the sex videos he had secretly recorded in his brain implant.
On the fourth day the idiot realized I knew how bad he was with security when somebody emptied his crypto exchange account.
On the fifth day a crypto evangelist went to a flesh-and-blood judge to ask them to restore justice in the blockchain realm.
On the sixth day a very surprised man was ordered by a judge to transfer me money, tokens, and files.
On the seventh day a man I once knew had court-mandated brain surgery to return the videos' last backup.